I’m currently attending weekly trauma informed group therapy sessions having completed 12 weeks of compassion focused group therapy. I return to work today after 3 weeks leave and I am a nervous wreck, as I sit here over-thinking anything and everything, I’ve managed to reflect on how little use I’ve made of my soothing tools over my rest period and it shows.
In my current discomfort I find a lesson in that without creativity, my mind boils. If I do not express myself in the ways in which I’ve learned work for me, I simply cannot function without the unhealed parts of me trying to take over and pull me back into my old addictive behaviors.
I haven’t written in a while.
I feel I’ve lost my standard style.
While I still sport my winning smile.
My creative flows a stinking pile.
I’ve not had much of late to say.
While I take things simply day by day.
Yet every single day I pray.
The struggles, they’re not here to stay.
I practice calm and tolerance.
And mindfulness and confidence.
Yet heavy with incompetence.
It rides my vibe with dominance.
My soul it needs some gentle rest,
So I can get back to my best.
These trials seem to be a test.
And for each one, I’m greatly blessed.
But as I meet these parts of me.
Not one would even dare to see.
I sit and nurture little she.
As we get to set the demons free.
When we face that ghastly shadow.
We know what always comes to follow.
The darkness soon becomes the shallow.
Compassion filling in the hollow.
I understand what lifes about.
It’s learning who we are, no doubt.
Emerging from the past throughout.
Evolving hard with each surmount.
I thank my universe, the SHE.
She taps into my frequency.
She soothes my soul, my energy.
So very higher powerly.
But with-out hope, she won’t appear.
She doesn’t listen to our fear.
Moral prayers are hers to hear.
So we make them loud and make clear.
She tunes in when we know our worth.
She knows your purpose on this earth.
She sees your past has been a curse.
She feels your worth, now you rebirth.
Love myself, that is the key.
Keep nurturing that little she.
She’s mine to love so tenderly.
Just like I would my little Gee.
Well look at me, I’ve reconnected.
Guided through these words selected.
Delightful while yet unexpected.
Blessed to be spiritually protected.