POEM: My Story

TRIGGER WARNING: Miscarriages, drug use, abuse, self harm

I’ve a story to tell you
So let it be told

Of why I am here
And my life did unfold

A quiet young girl
But a curious soul

Slightly bemused unaware of her role

School was a drag but art always present

Won’t be too long till those first antidepressants

Rarely fit in but needed the buzz

Silly lost girl fell into drugs

Crazy fun times for how long I don’t know

Then BAM a baby that decided to go

Still just a bean at only 16

Nervous system now just a broken machine

Young and determined she tried to bounce back

But she carries some anger she needs to unpack

Masking the pain at the party again

Searching for someone to take all the blame

Bleeding on those who never once hurt her

Each interaction an emotional blunder

Pessimistic mind making her panic

Dreams so lucid making her manic

Pregnant again but before she could cheer

Ectopic this time, not even near

And so down she falls like a demolished tower

Nervous system shattered its losing its power

She picks up the bottle and rolls up for a line

Hoping this one will kill her this time

She wakes up again and drags herself to work

Down and down trodden she wears the merch

They finally notice a bruise on her eye

The cats out the bag she could no longer lie

The booze and the beatings were taking their toll

Poor little lost girl was deep in a hole

She stayed as she thought she truly deserved it

Until he threw that one final hit

The cuts and the bruises they quickly recovered

But the mind is left broken it continues to suffer

She puts on a face and gets back with her friends

Promised herself not ever again

She finds happiness in her spot at the bar

Finds solace in fun, jobs can come last

The buzz for the party progressed into fields

Festival sparkles BIG BLOW OUT appeals

Hid behind glitter Lycra and more

A darkness discovered sparkly no more

More drugs bring more demons more people more drama

She lied when she said it felt like nirvana

Each breakdown ignored by those she adored

Break up after break up she was emotionally floored

No one cared for her grief or the loss of her babies

It felt like a curse like a gift straight from Hades

Little did she know that one day she`d see

That what she needed was true love from me

Love from her future older kinder self

She soon came to learn there really was help

The answers she seeks from the past were to go

She’d learn how to look forward and how to say NO

But before came these lessons she was blessed with a gift

Morning sickness arrived, this plot had a twist

She hoofed up a line as she looked at the test

This couldn’t be true, her life was a mess

She picked up her wrap and she flushed it away

She’d do anything now for this baby to stay

A week had gone by and she didn’t know where

Mind stuck in limbo, for hours she’d stare

She’d suddenly felt like the planets aligned

With this miracle life form perfectly timed

Nothing could stop her, not even the doner

She did not care if she’d end up a loner

She picked up the phone and called out for help

Away from these people, she’d do it herself

TBC……..