I’m a guy in my early 20s from India. I’m writing this anonymously because I genuinely need perspectives from people outside my family and marriage.

I grew up in a family where money was always limited. My mother sacrificed a lot for our family and for me. Watching that made me start thinking about money and responsibility very early in life.

After school, I started working. Later, while studying in college, there were periods when I was juggling college, multiple jobs, freelance work and the gym.

Strangely, I was exhausted back then too, but I was happy.

I felt like I was building something.

Then I fell deeply in love.

The relationship initially felt almost perfect. She loved me, respected me, cared about my family, and I genuinely imagined growing old with her.

There were family complications and restrictions around our relationship. We eventually went through a very painful breakup/separation that lasted months. It destroyed me emotionally.

Just when I had started accepting that it was over, she came back and told me she wanted to choose our relationship regardless of whether her family supported it.

I still loved her, so I took her back.

We got married shortly afterward.

I thought that was the beginning of our peaceful life.

Instead, it feels like everything started falling apart.

There were repeated conflicts between my wife and my mother/family. I defended my wife many times because I believed that once you’re married, your spouse needs to know that you stand beside them.

Eventually things became so bad that I left my family home and rented a separate place for my wife and me.

Financially, this was extremely difficult for me, but I thought:

*”At least now nobody is between us. We can finally have a peaceful marriage.”*

That hasn’t happened.

I’m currently carrying most of our financial responsibilities—rent, daily expenses, debts, her education and other costs—while my income has actually decreased.

I’m working and freelancing trying to keep everything running.

But the money isn’t even what hurts the most.

I don’t feel appreciated or respected.

Small conversations become arguments. When I try explaining how overwhelmed I am, I often feel like I’m being told that providing these things is simply my responsibility.

She tells me she loves me, and sometimes she is affectionate with me.

That’s what makes everything more confusing.

Because other times I feel like my emotions, sacrifices and stress mean absolutely nothing.

And now resentment is building inside me.

I look at my mother and remember everything she sacrificed for me.

Then I look at my wife and remember everything she went through for our relationship.

And then I look at myself and realize:

**Everyone is suffering.**

My mother lost the relationship she once had with her son.

My wife has her own emotional pain and feels hurt by my family.

And I’ve somehow become the person standing in the middle trying to carry everyone.

For years I thought being a good man meant taking responsibility, sacrificing when necessary and protecting the people you love.

Now I’m questioning whether I misunderstood something.

Maybe I kept sacrificing without creating boundaries.

I miss who I used to be.

I miss working because I wanted to build something—not because another bill was waiting.

I miss the gym.

I miss feeling physically strong.

I miss having money saved.

I miss waking up excited about my future.

Recently I’ve caught myself thinking:

**What if I just lived alone?**

Not another relationship. Not running after women. Not fighting with my family.

Just me.

Work. Gym. Health. Saving money. Building my career/business. Getting my head straight.

And that thought gives me a strange feeling of relief.

But then the guilt comes.

My mother sacrificed for me.

My wife built her future around me.

I made commitments.

I don’t want to abandon people simply because life became difficult.

At the same time, I don’t think destroying myself financially, mentally and physically can be the definition of responsibility either.

I’m sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted, financially stressed, and I honestly don’t recognize my life anymore.

I’m not posting this so Reddit can tell me “DIVORCE HER” or “YOUR MOTHER IS WRONG” or decide who the villain is.

Maybe all three of us have made mistakes.

What I genuinely want to know is:

**Where does responsibility end and self-destruction begin?**

If you were in my position, would you temporarily step away and rebuild yourself?

Would you keep trying to repair the marriage?

How would you set boundaries between your wife and your parents without abandoning either?

And most importantly—how do you know when you’re fighting for the people you love versus simply being afraid to finally choose yourself?

I’d especially appreciate answers from people who have been married or have dealt with Indian/South Asian family dynamics.

I just want perspectives from people who aren’t emotionally involved in my situation