By Gill Jardine, Counsellor/Psychotherapist

You don’t have to be dealing with mental health challenges to find this time of year difficult. Many people find it hard to be where they are expected to be and do what they are expected to do. Mental health issues can make everyday life seem impossible, or very nearly impossible. That term ‘everyday’ is loaded with responsibility, organisation, socialisation and many other requirements. This can be hugely demanding when you are already trying to deal with such things as anxiety, depression and psychosis, to name but a few, all of which potentially make life so much more nerve-racking.

I wonder what it is about December that makes coping even more taxing? My first thought is the weather. The days are at their shortest and, of course, the nights are at their longest. The weather is often changeable but will include low temperatures, rain, wind, sleet and sometimes, snow all making going out and about more tricky. This then means we are stuck at home and unable to enjoy the fresh air, and perhaps the company of others. We all tend to dive in and out of our homes allowing no time for a walk or jog. This of course can lead to loneliness. Feeling chilly and alone can cause our mood to go down making us even more likely to stay home. The skies tend to be grey displaying little or no sunshine, another factor causing the mood to drop.

Christmas looms with all that that brings with it. Routine tends to go out of the window because things stop for a week or even two. There are considerable financial demands, not only for presents and fancy foods but also for travel to meet family expectations. People gathering together for parties and celebrations – wow, can’t that be hard if you don’t want to be a part of it. It may be that your culture doesn’t recognise Christmas but you seem to be bombarded with adverts, films and music, which are actually nothing to do with you and can leave you feeling even more alone, with no sense of belonging. A feeling of not belonging may be more common than we think or realise. We live in a multi-cultural society made up of individuals with many different beliefs and customs. There are people with language difficulties – very hard to feel supported if we can’t make ourselves understood effectively.

These thoughts make me think of our organisation, Minds Anonymous. Our founder, through her own struggles, became more aware of how hard life can be whilst dealing with mental health problems. She recognised the loneliness, the difficulty of communicating with the outside world when you are not sure of yourself and your own thoughts. “If I tell someone how I’m feeling, will I be judged? Will people think I’m mad? Will they think I’ve lost the plot? These ‘people’ may be my family, my work colleagues, my friends – I can’t risk letting them know how I truly feel – Help!!!”

This is where Minds Anonymous comes in. The whole point is to offer a listening ear, a platform where you can be honest and vulnerable about how you really feel. Although you remain anonymous, you can know that you are being ‘heard’, maybe for the first time.

We have talked about feeling alone, having no sense of belonging, perhaps feelings exacerbated by Christmas because of the many different beliefs and traditions across the world. The good news is that Minds Anonymous has become a community in itself. There can be a sense of belonging in being able to read other people’s experiences and struggles and recognising what they might be going through, or indeed, what they have gone through.

We’ve noticed just how far Minds Anonymous reaches out. We have heard from people in at least 40 different countries across the world including the UK, USA, Philippines, Australia, several European countries, India and many more. This perhaps suggests that whilst we may have different cultures, we all have similar needs when it comes to our feelings – wow, that feels like quite a revelation and, what’s more, a positive revelation.

How can all of this help us deal with the end of another year, including Christmas? Perhaps we could look at it as a storm – difficult to deal with at the time but knowing that it will pass. How can we weather it? How about holding onto your hat and trying to identify positives from the last year? I recognise this might be difficult if we are not feeling positive but perhaps we can try, after all, we have said that this, like a storm, will pass. You could write down your feelings, this can be very therapeutic because it can empty your head. Just jot down whatever comes into your head, this could be just for you or you might find you are able to share it with us and the rest of our community here.

My final thought is about our international community here at Minds Anonymous – do join us, you will be so welcome with no judgement. Good luck with Christmas!