At 7 months old I was severely burned due to parental neglect. Some of my earliest memories are of my mom blaming me for the burns and telling me that I almost died. She insisted that I always had to hear that. She often told me that she chose to save the clothes instead of me.

She began physically, emotionally and mentally abusing my older sister and I. I had recurrent nightmares and night terrors and even though there were 5 other people in the house, only the family cats took care of me at night. My older sister was never allowed to use the bathroom before bed and got in big trouble with dad if she wet the bed which is really weird because our brother wet the bed into his teens and never got in trouble. I had multiple phobias by the time I was 2.

My whole family began blaming me for anything that they could including their credit report, leaky pipe causing mold, getting sick and even a pretend miscarriage before I was born. Mom used siblings to punish me and blame me. I have memories of begging for water and repeatedly being denied. Everyone talked at dinner but I was not allowed to. I can remember pretending to go to the bathroom and getting drinks out of the bathroom sink. I even climbed kitchen cabinets to get my own glass so I could have water. I grew up believing that I was the unwanted child who wouldn’t die. Life was very hard. When I was still in grade school, I noticed that I could only remember back a year or two and everything beyond that was gone. I had these memory blocks until I was in my 50s. Now I know why I wanted to forget.

When people asked mom why I was always so sad she would smile and tell them that I had middle child syndrome. Now my parents are gone (they never placed much value on me) and I am avoiding the rest of my family. My little sister would get enraged when a family or the church offered to take me on a trip. She would always tell me that she should be the one going. The fact that she was never invited didn’t matter. She stole all but one of my souvenirs and stole all of my photos and put them up in her house like they were from her trips.

To give an example of her mental health delusions, she became enraged at me when we invited our families for a barbecue. She brought nothing to eat or drink even though they had the most kids. She became enraged when she found out that we had a pool. The next day I tried to call someone in my family and no one would talk to me because my little sister was angry that we had a pool. She blamed me for people warning her that she was engaged to a con artist.

Instead of realizing that people cared about her, she told everyone in our family that I turned everyone against her. She blamed me for her divorce and I lived in a different state and avoided all contact. Then when her second husband died she got angry at me because my husband still lived. She claims that her husband was murdered even though he died of covid. She now has a terminal diagnosis and has tried to get my husband to make me restore contact with her. I hope to never see her again but I still love her. I now know that she is trying to convince our older sister not to get certain necessary treatments like vaccines even though our older sister has long covid. She has also been forcing our older sister not to talk to me out of fear of her (she has done this dozens of times) and she has really bad health issues.

Our older sister has been given a terminal diagnosis if she refuses to eat right and she now has dementia. I would love to get my little sister help for her probable schizophrenia (a psychiatrist said that) but if I do, she will become more enraged with me. I feel helpless. I have even argued with my Uncle about leaving anything to me in his will, knowing that my sister would become paranoid about that and I would rather have peace than money. But he will not listen to me. My little sister would not let me ride in the family car at dad’s funeral and yelled at me so much in the family car at mom’s funeral that I was tempted to jump out while it was moving.

I know that she is a dangerous person because she has abused me physically, emotionally and mentally. I am done with her. If that means avoiding funerals, I will. I just wish that someone would help her before she hurts someone else. I forgot to mention that she is also angry at me because she has to live with her son. I am tired of trying to keep from making her angry so now I avoid her.