In one day, the world wont end… Instead, it will stay the exact same as it was yesterday. Or even today.
No, scrap that. In one day, I will receive my weekly Sinus Treatment 132F. I need it to live, you know. I have been receiving treatment for a while, but it’s only now that it matters.

I don’t feel like we live in a time where you get sick and people care. We live in a time where you get sick and people give you what you need, because a human life has no other purpose than to survive, die and tell their life stories in the afterlife. Telling stories to all of the cells waiting to be born. Instead of nutrients like the things we need, they rely on the weak whispers of those who have passed. Only then can they compete for a spot in their soon-to-be mothers arms, and fall to their fate if they lose.

I still hear the rattles of the half full bottle of my treatment being shaken in front of my face. I can’t really take it on my own; my arms are too limp and raw to reach for it.

It almost tastes like a watered down version of an ice cream cone I had one time on vacation in a past life. I still can’t shake it. The taste haunts me like a ghost opening and closing a creaky door just to get a scare out of me.

My doctor says to my mother that the pathway through my ears is barricaded by ‘an unknown substance’. He says it with an unsure frown. I recognise that frown from many previous hospital visits.

I can’t expect much from that. It could mean eternal death or just another chance at life. I should know by now that it’s always the second option.

It feels like I have lived endless lives; a corner shop owner, a refugee escaping from war before she died to a whirlpool, a single dad taking care of her daughter that does not truly exist. And now, a young person on her hospital bed waiting to die of a sinus problem? In every one, I have never died to age. Is it fate that something new and strange happens to me every time I live again?

Get a hold of yourself. Please, just try to live. Forget everything that has happened before this present moment. You can’t live another life knowing your exact future and your exact past.

And so then, I lay down. I lay down and wait for tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I get my weekly Sinus Treatment 132F.