POEM: Wonderful Happy Glorious me

Wonderful happy glorious me,

NO hang on wait, that can not be, 

I’ve always been my own worst enemy,

The hardest to please ,

With emotional needs,

Unable to understand why I cant breed,

Constantly battling selfish silent wars,

Invisible issues creating my flaws,

Some say awareness becomes an acceptance,

I see awareness as a lethal entrapment,

Stuck in the knowledge that this is me,

Is happiness something that just can not be,

I try to reach out and seek the right help,

Never strong enough to help myself,

Now and then there’s a glimmer of hope,

NOPE!

Just another fall down that slippery slope,

I just can’t accept that this is just me,

Surely there’s more, I want to feel free,

How can I know what’s normal head thought,

When I understand nothing of what I’ve been taught,

Am I uneducated or simply naïve,

Or am I now ready to give up and leave,

And when I say leave I don’t mean get up and leave,

I mean leave this head space, this perception of me,

But that would take more than I’m willing to give,

I don’t want to just exist

I want to LIVE!